How to Protect Your Children From the Harmful Effects of Divorce

Researchers have found that a small number amount of children are personally impacted from their parent’s divorce.

Divorce affects most children in the short run, but research suggests that kids recover rapidly after the initial blow. In a 2002 study psychologist E. Mavis Hetherington of the University of Virginia and her then graduate student Anne Mitchell Elmore found that many children experience short-term negative effects from divorce, especially anxiety, anger, shock and disbelief. These reactions typically diminish or disappear by the end of the second year. Only a minority of kids suffer longer.

Researchers have [also] consistently found that high levels of parental conflict during and after a divorce are associated with poorer adjustment in children. Children fare better if parents can limit conflict associated with the divorce process or minimize the child’s exposure to it.

Is Divorce Bad for Children?   How to Develop a Healthy Co-Parenting Relationship

Below I have presented some helpful practices to implement to help with your children’s adjustment to your divorce.

Maintain or Create a Nurturing Environment

Though you may be in the process of divorcing your spouse, this does not mean that the relationship you have with your children ends. I recommend you maintain, or, if necessary, create a nurturing environment for your children which will enable them to express their feelings and concerns regarding your divorce. You should frequently constantly remind your children how much they mean to you, that you love them, and that the relationship you have with them will not change once your divorce is final.

Do not alienate the other parent by pointing out their flaws nor argue in front of your children. This will only make matters worse. You need to maintain a peaceful household and keep all certain matters pertaining to the divorce in confidence from them (depending on their levels of sensitivity).

Creating and maintaining a nurturing environment for your children will take a lot of work, but it will be well worth it at the conclusion of your divorce proceedings.

Family Counseling

You should consider attending family counseling during your divorce. Family counseling can help you better understand and address your children’s concerns regarding your divorce with a trained counselor. The counselor can provide you, your spouse, and children with the resources you all need to emotionally cope with the divorce.

Going to counseling also shows your children that you care about their problems and are truly committed to resolving them.

Adopt Co-Parenting Techniques

Co-parenting during divorce will help you and your spouse continue to spend quality time with your children while maintaining a structured home environment for them.

A key way to develop a healthy co-parenting relationship is to learn how to empathize with the other parent’s viewpoint.  Oftentimes, co-parents only reflect on their views and feelings and fail to consider the other parent’s perspective.

If you would like to hire a New York divorce attorney, contact David Vallone. David has extensive experience in providing legal representation to Suffolk County residents regarding the dissolution of contested and uncontested marriages.  Contact the Law Office of David Vallone  at 631-676-7100 to schedule a consultation.


No comments yet.

Leave a Reply

Name (required)

Email (will not be published) (required)